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Thomas
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 9:59 am
   Subject: Re: Save ZXDWare.net
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Last edited by Thomas on Thu May 26, 2011 9:49 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 10:06 am
   Subject: Re: Save ZXDWare.net
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Last edited by Dr. Chainsaw on Tue Mar 19, 2013 6:41 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 10:43 am
   Subject: Re: Save ZXDWare.net
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Chris wrote:
Yeah, I can definately relate to this. I'm getting this from the new head manager I work with right now, which I don't really understand, and don't know what would be the right way to react. Any advice? After a few arguments about it, with her not really explaining any reasoning for the comment, I've just come to the conclusion that she is really dense, because we've worked together over 100 times and I always do what she tells me, usually right away without any kind of hesitation, which is alot more than I can say for most of the employees I work with, yet she still tells me "You never listen Chris". I'm not really getting what she's trying to say, and why she continues to tell me this. I think I'm one of the best listeners there, I always take things people have to say into consideration, but for some reason, she doesn't see it that way, and I can't help but think that she needs to pay more attention and have more trust in me. If she ever thought I wasn't listening, why doesn't she just say: "What did I just say?", though it should be obvious that I'm listening anyway... and I don't want to look like a smartass to prove it. Maybe I'm missing something, but she hasn't told me what it is, so her telling me that comment isn't going to help the situation in any way; it's just going to make things more confusing and awkward, which is not good when I'm supposed to be friendly and focused on my job while running around and taking orders.

That's very interesting how you've adapted to your parents like that sentenced. How are you sure that you never win though? Just because they ignore your points and try to change the subject on you doesn't mean that you're wrong. I'm not sure if bottling up my feelings and opinions would make me feel comfortable around my mom when she provokes logic I feel is completely inaccurate or that could use some new insight; even if what you say about how restraining from arguing leads to happiness. I look back on the arguments we've had, and I always think it was positive experience to express my point of view; though it would have been nice to express them to someone who was more open about them. I may have gotten punished and in alot of trouble for being honest and expressing myself, but the punishments were my parents own decision, I don't think I had any control over how they took my honest comments. I like knowing WHY people are saying things, I'm not going to agree with someone if I don't understand their point of view and they don't bother to explain it. I need that explanation, I need to know their reasoning, because without that, I will never learn anything, which is very important to me. There are some people that I've built up enough of respect to just to say "ok, sounds good", even when I believe their reasoning could be flawed, and you're right, it does feel good sometimes to just accept their decisions and hope for the best. There's this one girl at work who always tries to get everyone to do everything for her, even when she's doing nothing and all and they're already quite busy, and sometimes I make fun of how spoiled and inconsiderate she is, yet other times I just do it for her because I feel like it anyway. Not sure which approach is better, though the second one usually leads to less of a mess and keeping us on good terms. Not sure about you, but I usually like telling people stuff directly instead of behind their back, and usually I don't mind saying it infront of everybody who is around, which can be quite risky when dealing with people who are in power. I guess we're still all learning how to handle different conflicts with people, though finding a style of reaction that actually fits with each different kind of situation is still something I haven't found a specfic working formula for yet, and probably never will. Sometimes there will be people around you who will surprise you and say "wow, I feel that way too" or it will give people something new to think about, or sometimes it will just only have negative effects on others yet will help you keep or build up your confidence to voice your feelings and your opinions. I think you always win and lose out in some ways with nomatter what approach you take (expressing your opinions in a certain fashion, withholding conflicts to hold a real/false stable relationship with the people you're around which could build into something more or less comfortable as things progress, etc.).


Spot on. Nothing to add, nothing to expand upon. Text-based perfection. Obviously your opinions and motives can't be shared by everyone, so in a sense I could comment on them... but the themes of power and general obedience you portray there are logical, credible and objective.

Actually, I like how you mentioned that you would feel uncomfortable if your feelings were bottled up around your mum. I can get where you are coming from when you say that. If I was discussing things with my parents on a formal level, I would waste no time in being totally honest with them. I often look forward to their reaction when they hear of my left-side opinions on many things. The only time I would stay quiet and accept defeat early on is during heated arguments, or topics where my honest opinion or approach is certain to cause distress or offence to them. I can't find a suitable example of this situation because the last volcanic argument we had was literally years ago!

And I've been drinking WAY too much Red Bull.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 11:09 am
   Subject: Re: Save ZXDWare.net
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sentenced wrote:

I can't find a suitable example of this situation because the last volcanic argument we had was literally years ago!


I cnat remember the last time i actually argued with my parents...i think ti may have been last january when my mom cut my hair because of my grades but since then i havent realyl argued wiht my parents...i prefer to sit down and talk calmly if i get upset or my mom gets upset over somethign we ware talking about i leave th eroom or change the subject or somethign like that so we dont argue....arguing does ntohign but piss everyone in the room off...for instance over breakfeast once *my mom is strictly catholic so shes kind araising me like that* i was talking to her about preamaritial sex so i was tlakign to her about it and i pretty much hinted to ehr that i wasnt planning on waiting or anythign liek that she just told me that 15 is too young i should wiat and told me a story about this guy and stuff like that but we never argued even though my mom and i have completley diffrent belifs about it we kept out anger down and talked it thorugh ewhich works of rme becuase i dont argue or like to yell *unless someone is truly asking fo rit by calling me gay,stoner, etc*

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Thomas
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 12:26 pm
   Subject: Re: Save ZXDWare.net
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Last edited by Thomas on Thu May 26, 2011 9:49 am; edited 1 time in total
Dugtrio17
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 2:11 pm
   Subject: Re: Burn him!
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While I'm not saying that the punishment isn't deserved or that a bloody petition would solve the problem, I think we've all done pretty good at overanalyzing a random post and petition about saving some random site. We've all discovered underlying rebellion against parental figures, thoughts that he knows everything and what's best for him, and the very crafty way that he presented only one side of the argument in order to get people onto his side, as if that would improve his situation. Reminds me a bit of English, a subject I never cared much for (at least when it comes to overanalyzing texts).
But I'm just kind of taking it at surface value, so I gave some surface value advice. He's just doing what any of us would do in a situation where something we love is being threatened; I know if my web site were being threatened (even if my part of it is just pointlessly taking up space on the internet) that I wouldn't just say "Oh well, looks like I'm getting what I deserve." Any teenager who says that they would is full of shit, and I highly doubt anyone's just going to accept it as a growth opportunity even if there's some glimmer of light that you might be able to keep whatever they're fighting for. It may even do some good for him to not have his site for a while. It's the same thing with my Calculus homework. We get it checked every test (roughly every 2 weeks) and if we don't have it all done then we have to come before 8 AM and get it checked every morning. Of course, I never do my Calculus homework when it's supposed to be done, I just do it all the night before the test. I know that this is why I often don't know stuff on tests, but I just... don't feel like doing it. It would be immensely beneficial to me if I'd just get forced to bring it in at 8 AM every morning, but I don't want that. I rather like coming home and telling my mom I don't have homework even when I've got some in almost every class. I get my non-Calculus homework done in the classes before it's due (except Biology, since it's first thing in the morning), and it's probably because of the fact that it actually gets taken up. That, too, is probably dinging my grades some, especially since if it's reading then it never gets done at all (not good for English). If my mom busted in right now, read this post, and made me do my homework every day as soon as I got home from school, then I'd probably benefit greatly from it. It's like with all that health stuff, I could eat all the right foods, exercise a lot, get all the regular checkups, etc etc, but very few people really feel like doing that, so they just don't. There'd be great benefits if they did, but I know that I for one hate it when I'm told "hey, don't eat that" or "yeah, sit at that computer instead of exercising and we'll see what happens!"[/tangent]
Moreover, I don't think he posted this to get some sort of life lesson. I can imagine conversations going awry if that were the goal of every conversation.
Quote:
Me: Damn man, I got lunch detention for the rest of the week.
Friend: Really? What'd you do?
Me: Eh... came into school late one too many times.
Friend: Hmph, sounds like you deserved it, maybe now you'll stop dicking around before school and get to class on time.

Of course, my mom being the one who brings me to school could be a factor, even if that's something I could control by telling my mom to hurry the hell up (or something similar), but I didn't come to my friend to get lectured, I came to him to hear "Damn, that sucks man," sorta like what Chris said about that one girl he works with. I guess it's better that Zero X. Diamond didn't just say "Guys, my site is going down. Sad ", but somehow it could leave an even worse taste in your mouth that he made a petition to try to save it, even though it isn't as bad if you think about it since it's something that can somehow affect us. Shrug
I guess the petition was a rather clever idea, but you guys have a point in that it's somewhat spamming the board, especially since from what I can tell this was posted everywhere out of desperation (of course, again I can't blame him, I can see me getting desperate enough to do something similar). I seriously doubt a petition's going to save the site, and the shot in the dark seems almost silly, but eh, I dunno, maybe I just have a thing for sticking up for people. A lot of good points have been made against the formation of such a petition, but it seems we've all sort of jumped down his throat a bit about it. And now I'll dedicate a whole paragraph to rambling.
It's wasting bandwidth and database space, but so are a lot of other useless posts... But the futility of the act easily turns stomachs... The site's sort of just... there, but it's giving SOMEBODY pleasure, right? Maybe it's like Chris' journals, he did some stuff he thought was pretty cool with them, even if they existed solely for him. Then again, a journal is SUPPOSED to be private, yet that site is on the internet, something made solely to make stuff public. Maybe it's a loss when anybody's stuff gets yanked off the internet, because somebody out there thought each of those thoughts. That's probably why I save so many useless topics on my hard drive. Or maybe it's just because I'm a packrat. I mean, I am a pretty bad packrat when it comes to offline stuff, so shouldn't it translate to online stuff? And you know what? I never got to mention my points about how "only one side of the argument is being presented". Well fine, we'll use my sample conversation as an example. Okay, we'll tweak it a bit. Let's say I just said I got suspended from school. I make a passing mention to how I might have accidentally punched the principal in the face. That's just one side of it, right? What about the principal's perception? All he knows is that he got punched in the face and who did it, but that's it. I don't want my friend to have the option of supporting the principal, I want to hear my "that sucks", dammit! Ah, but I'd never punch good ol' Mr. Tillmann... Tilmann? Tillman? However the hell you spell it... Or maybe it would have just been better for the responses in this topic to be limited to "that sucks", "oh well", and "uh, okay".

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 4:10 pm
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Edit: Oh snap, time is up. Do the resizing yourself.
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 4:27 pm
   Subject: Re: Save ZXDWare.net
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Chris wrote:
That's very interesting how you've adapted to your parents like that sentenced. How are you sure that you never win though? Just because they ignore your points and try to change the subject on you doesn't mean that you're wrong. I'm not sure if bottling up my feelings and opinions would make me feel comfortable around my mom when she provokes logic I feel is completely inaccurate or that could use some new insight; even if what you say about how restraining from arguing leads to happiness.


That's a very good point you've got there. Albeit it does describe how I handle my opinions towards my own parents, not necessarily a good thing. Now and then I will pipe in on religious matters (But I generally try to stay out of them, they tend to turn into arguments rather quickly.), but I just sit back and stay quiet because of the frustration it causes. I've already been through one "war" with them over a bit of a controversial issue that happened within their church; I disagreed highly with the leadership, and the result was that I was near being forced out of the home because of it.

The internet is the only "home" I've found where I can be vocal about issues, comments, and whatever else. It's a safe haven if you think about it. Most people don't know who you are in real life, and talking "smack" about them is easier than telling it to their face. Although, I'd have to say that I am much different in outside the virtual world than I am on the message boards. I hardly talk to people...ever, except online, or whatever close friends I do have.
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2005 8:43 pm
   Subject: Re: Save ZXDWare.net
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@Chris: You know... I also believe in the saying "Damned if you do and Damned if you don't.". While you probably are listening she seems to get the impression that you aren't or maybe she's seeing it as selective listening. What I found worked for me in situations like that was 1 of 2 things... Repeat each task as she gives it to you with the words "Got it".. added to the end of each... So you are acknowledging each thing she tells you as she tells you... or the second option (which sometimes is the best as they can get pissed from you repeating and saying "got it" - like it's some type of interuption...) Anyhow.. is to basically repeat the instructions back... with... something like: "Ok... so you want me to..... instructions.. and then end with a simple "ok"). Do that a couple of times and I doubt that she will have problems that enable her to say you don't listen. Will it work... might.. might not... but it can't hurt to try. I guess it all depends on where her frustration with you is comming from. Could be maybe she has a crush or something?? If it's a girlfriend thing, then I use a little different logic.. But that's another story... Although I will say Honesty is always the best policy with the exception of open ended questions like "Do these Jeans make me look fat?"... Honesty aside.. answering with something like "The jeans have nothing to do with it".. will only send you to the dog house... lol... So when they say be honest, or they really want Men to be honest, they aren't being honest with us by saying that... But let's not go there... it's Christmas time..

@Leo... Been there.. Done That... and bought the T-Shirt... lol.. But you know that if you need someone to talk to... You do have friends that will listen.. I guess they haven't learned that old thing where "everyone has the right to disagree". It's probably that they felt you weren't hearing what they were saying.. (damn.. here we go again... lol...)

Anyhow... back to topic.. Here... Here... Dan... very well put.

I was mearly trying to point out that what we don't know completely is the "why" of the sites demise, other than that his Mom (or Parents) is pulling the plug and he's started a petition to try and save it. There could be many reasons for them pulling the plug, and my comments were just trying to point out that we are hearing from only one side of the conversation or one side of where the conversation went, that got him to this point ...

The petitition is most likely an act of futility. Probably won't get him anywhere... But if that's what he thinks will work to try and save it... All the best. And yep, like you, I agree the best thing he could do is archive it and/or move it to a free site (as I didn't read anywhere that he was loosing internet access in all of this... so....). If he's trying to drive traffic to the site to save it that way... he probably has increased traffic.. but as I said.. the sites content really isn't my cup of tea. Anyhow...

Back to recovery... and therapy... and trying to get ready for Christmas...

Greg
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 28, 2005 8:31 am
   Subject: Re: Save ZXDWare.net
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A belated merry Christmas to you all.

I'd like to open this post with two blatant apologies: one for giving so little explaination in my opening post, the other for not getting back here sooner. I've been thrown off the computer, but I have an opportunity right now and I felt the need to act on it. Anyways, I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused here. I honestly didn't expect this type of reaction, especially not from Chris. Seems like a good guy to me. Whatever.

Even though I can offer you no proof, I assure you that, yes, I was failing all my classes at the time of the original post. (And unlike what somebody here theorized, [Chris?] it was in no way related to my website.) My mother was planning to take the site away from me by means of no longer paying for it. But a while back, she finally asked me to give her good reasoning not to take down the site. Through the means of a few important things I mentioned myself, as well as the petition, it seems that she may no longer have these cruel intentions in mind. So my thanks go out to anyone here who signed.

My website may not be the greatest, okay, I can understand that. There are plenty of better ones out there. But it's been around a long time, and there are clearly people who enjoy its presence. I'm just out to keep four years worth of material from vanishing from the face of the web. All I can ask of you is that you please not think less of me following this. And following some of the things said, well, maybe some of you already have me at rock bottom on the respect chart. As long as I'm still tolerated, I'm not going anywhere.

I guess the bottom line is that I thank you and I'm very sorry for all of this.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 30, 2005 6:05 pm
   Subject: Get me some tea
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Eh, I'll still just chalk it up to desperation. You were about to lose your site, and it's obviously important to you, so you pulled every trick you had. Maybe I'm just in a good mood. It's probably best that everybody just put this behind us anyway.

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