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The many tales of Ringman.
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Ringman
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 27, 2004 12:01 pm
   Subject: The many tales of Ringman.
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Chapter 1

Ringman discovered an axe murderer on an ironing board and fell into the eternal pit of hell because he had no sleep the night before, and a heated argument arose which got him in a lot of trouble; he called the police, and as he nearly gave up all hope, he accidently tripped and smashed his face against a rock.

Chapter 2

Ringman fought his enemy: a sexy model after leaping from a crashing plane and got 1st degree burns very happily and chased a bunny which made him cry, he shot all the bad guys and to the surprise of the audience he got promoted to field marshal.

Chapter 3

Ringman got a letter bomb from a wild dog in Peru and got locked in a room full of greasy meat because his leg hurt and everyone felt very sympathetic which started a party, he stole a car and to the disappointment of some he got the money and lived the rest of his life in Russia.

Chapter 4

Ringman went swimming with Karl's mum in the fire place and got locked in a room full of greasy meat in a sad mood and snapped his ankle, which got him in a lot of trouble. He blew up a truck with a hand grenade, and with his last ounce of strength he got kidnapped and tortured to death.


The End?

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2004 1:50 pm
   Subject: Re: The many tales of Ringman.
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*stands and applauds loudly*

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Chris
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 28, 2004 4:55 pm
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Chapter 5

After escaping death and getting plastic surgery to make his entire face look like a rock (so the mark wouldn't stick out), Ringman patrols the fields of Russia with a stick brocolli, where the bunnies forced him to cut onions again, than ran away to the playboy mansion to discuss tactics with the sexy model. Karl's mum than jumps out of Antarctica (she got stolen by Rudolph, who thought her bikini being thrown off the fireplace was a carrot, while the penguins were riding a car-attached-to-grenades to abduct Mrs. Claus but couldn't tell the difference between her pompom and a raviolli Boyardee TM hat) and knocked out Ringman's third ankle, so he tripped into another pit where a farmland of cows and horses was also falling down the cliff and Chineese people were falling upwards to reguritate their lunch so they could eat breakfast to make up for the jetlag, and Ringman screamed: "No, not the Bacon!" and the pigs finally came through the pit to help Ringman by sending him to jail without collecting $200 for breaking the law to break your ankle during coffee breaks while your left brake light is out on your below water level umbrella dolphin porcupine kraft dinner. 700 years later, Ringman comes back to life and gets eaten by dinosaurs...
Ringman
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 29, 2004 10:00 am
   Subject: Re: The many tales of Ringman.
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Nicely tied together Chris, now it all makes some kind of sense, sort of...

Chapter 6

The dinosaurs who had gas, after choking on the flying trapeze, sent smoke signals to the nearest shack of car bombs, but to everone's suprise Karl's mum swallowed the whole Capitol building with 300 jet monkeys in a banana boat, and trapped all the warehouses on tahiti. While fishing with the cabinet members of his shorts Ringman escaped all death by riding the plunger to safety. All was lost when Ringman obtained the key to Bush's top middle drawer, the one under his elephant's plastic head.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 9:25 pm
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*bump*

call me an idiot for reviving an old topic but, this is awesome! first time i read it, and I'm not in the least bit disappoiunted! *wolf whistles*

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 21, 2006 11:17 pm
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Thanks for reviving this i hadnt read it before.
Damn funny! Weird, but funny.

Kinda reminds me of the type of text a 'not so good' English translator would give you.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 22, 2006 5:14 am
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Dean wrote:
Thanks for reviving this i hadnt read it before.
Damn funny! Weird, but funny.

Kinda reminds me of the type of text a 'not so good' English translator would give you.


*thinks of Black Man in the Addons Area*

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